Attempting to Disconnect in a World That Won’t Stop Scrolling
Ever since I started my freshman year in college, each day starts the same: wake up, check TikTok, respond to Snapchat messages, refresh Instagram, and brush my teeth (phone in hand, obviously, because why not multitask). As embarrassing as it is to admit, I can’t seem to get comfortable with silence anymore, and every free moment must be accompanied with a screen. In high school, my journalism teacher called our phones “mind control devices,” and although I laughed at the time, these days I truly feel like my phone is taking over my entire existence. It can be really difficult to truly disconnect — every time I take a break, I feel like I am missing out on something. And even though I have no visions of successfully unplugging from my life online, I worry that I am moving further away from the girl I used to be pre-social media. Somewhere between endless scrolling and constant notifications, I stopped making space for the quiet that used to define me.
Up until last year, I was a huge reader. I would spend my Friday nights getting lost in a book from start to finish, sometimes until the early hours of the next morning. While I’m happy my weekends are more social now, I miss having time to learn about different worlds and escaping from the stresses of high school and teenage life. These days, I can’t make it through a book in a week, let alone in one sitting. Even reading itself has gone digital. #BookTok made it trendy, but mostly in a performative, “look at me reading” way. I scroll through endless clips of annotated pages, pastel tabs, and the same five romance books on everyone’s shelf, yet somehow never open one myself. Reading has been rebranded as viral content, and somewhere along the way, I’ve become a spectator of literature instead of an actual reader.
I think part of the problem is that in college, I seem to have fewer options to replace my scrolling habit. At home, I can work a shift at the boutique, walk my dogs, play piano, etc. Here, I find myself constantly cycling between eating, sleeping, doing schoolwork, and working out. Before college, even a simple drive with music blasting or baking cookies with my mom felt like a break. In college, everything revolves around a routine. I eat, study, scroll, repeat. The options seem much more endless at home.
Sometimes I wonder if it would even be possible for modern society to disconnect. Even when we’re not actively scrolling, there’s always a buzzing in the background: another text, important news update, or music release. And look, I’m not asking to revert to carrier pigeons or telegraphs. I love the convenience of my phone just as much as the next person. I just think we could all benefit from taking our thumbs away from screens and putting our minds to better use every once in a while.
It feels a little funny to write a blog about disconnecting when I know that I’ll inevitably revert to my screen obsessed ways at some point. With fall break this weekend, maybe I’ll finally have a good opportunity to put social media on hold and find some new hobbies. Yes, I’ll probably post this link on my Instagram story before I unplug. But maybe awareness is the first step, even if I have to announce it online.